A mirthful experience

all is well this evening, i must say i have no complaints. my daughter is slowly taking the anger out of me more and more everyday. i still get upset at work daily, the difference now is that i know that all i have to do is make it through the day. so that i can come home and squeeze the little monkey. one of the things that i said that i would never do when i became a parent was drift away from my friendships. obviously i have nothing against any of my friends, but life changed. i work to pay the bills, and i live for my family. having a child makes me respect my mother more than ever, how she did it with three im not sure. as an adult all i do is complain about how my mother and father never gave me shit growing up. my dad worked as an electrician and many other things. a very trendy fella with the newest shoes and clothing brands you could think of. dressing to impress those that he cared about the least. however beings how my dad made decent money and never bought me shit seems to have fogged my memory of the great sacrifices that my mom made for all of us. she worked for 3 dollars an hour in the 80s which i would say close to 100% went to her kids. she had a teal sweat shirt with the sleeves cut at the elbows that she wore 3-4 times a week. my mother was beaten every other week or so, but hid it so well that no one knew how serious that the bruises were. skip to the next decade, she left my dad when i turned 15 because my dad kicked me out of the house. at this time she was working at a department store making somewhere in the range of 10-12 dollars an hour. spending 600 dollars on rent and getting a credit card with an insane limit, she maxed it out buying me name brand clothes, nike shoes and a generous weekly allowance so that i could hang out with my normal friends and the normal families living the normal lifestyle she so badly wanted me to have. my mom went through a rough patch and never seemed to get out of the funk which i can't get into today due to the nature of this blog. but the point is that over the years i came to forget the things she did for me and my siblings and i tend to forget that she's the reason that i am alive. people sometimes ask me why i turned out so well after going through the things i went through growing up and i always take the credit, well it's time to set the record straight. basically my mom did it the best that she could, and ultimately she's the reason. i can be a fucked up person at times, but to balance things out i think that i got the best of my mothers attributes, and that is why i am who i am today. i hope that i will be as good of a dad as my mother was my mom.

SIGUR MOTHA FUCKIN ROS

so it's sigur ros on repeat on the old i-pod. really it's an i-pod classic from like 2007 i think, this mother fuckers been through it all. this music is helping my mind relax and is seriously bringing peace into my life, it has fucking been life changing!! get it? get it? fuck im retarded.
so less than 3 months until i become a dad. Happy, nervous, terrified, excited, fucking stoked and all that jazz.

rules:
cussing will be allowed by little slips here and there, shit, damn, etc..
No cunt bombs in front of the kid
toilet humor.. that ones up for debate
supportive of anything she wants to do except being a bears or cubs but mostly bears fan
bleed green
tattoos are not acceptable unless it's of aaron rodgers or john kuhn
ear piercings at a young age is undecided
more coming soon...

Million Miles an Hour

now that i've been to slc, i must say that i really liked it. great pubs, good shopping, beautiful views, to bad the mormons had to fuck it up. for those who are wanting to become filthy rich build a church or temple. the money will come in i promise.
i have an interview this weekend, and this blog is being forced tonight im out.

Daddy-O

Well, I guess I have not really blogged about this at all, but it doesn't mean that I'm not excited. I am going to be a dad and I couldn't be happier. Things have really seemed to slow down for me recently, I am enjoying little things more than I used to. I am not letting little things bother me as much as they used to. I do think this is just a phase.
I Hear Sirens, Explosions in the Sky, The 7 Mile Journey, and Saxon Shore. Those are the 4 bands that have changed music for me. (for now) Kind of the how have I never heard this before feel.

LA

so all day today i thought about this potential job oppurtunity. i hate so many things about my job, but fuck my boss puts up with a lot of shit. this new job is less than a mile from my current one so no time or gas saved, same job different company. is there really a possibility for me to be better at this new place? when it all comes down to it, i will hate this place as much as i hated the last, and the one before that, and the one before that, and on, and on.

elliot smith's been dead for 7 years now, but his music is still capable of calming me down.
song of the day/week
LA
The gentleman's in the lane
Spinning his hat on a cane
Stepping out, out for a change
Good morning all, it's a beautiful day
The generals are winning the war
Seemed suicidal before you came along
Now, now
I'll protect you, long as you'll stay
LA
Morning had to come, I'd be walking in the sun
Living in the day
But last night I was about to throw it all away
If patience started a band
I'd be her biggest fan
Look at me, I'm talking to you
I don't want the lead in your play
The star's just a part of the scene
The gentleman in green
Paying off, out on the street
I can't go home, it's not on my way
LA
Things I've never done, cars parked in the sun
Living in the day
But last night I was about to throw it all away
Last night I was about to throw it all away
Last night I was about to throw it all away
Last night I was about to throw it all away

He's pleased to meet you underneath the horse

3-14-2011

things seem to get worse before they get better. sometimes i just wish people woudn't fuck with me. i can't wait til i am fully self-employed. on a daily basis i tell my boss to quit fucking with me. how much more blunt can i be?
this would be a great place to advertise for my business but who the fuck would purchase my service after reading this? the thought of being able to work for myself by myself sounds great. i guess the lines of work i choose are weird. my previous 3 co-workers: an ex crackhead, a current pothead and other rec drugs, a non english speaking man. my favorite of the 3 is the mexican.
the mexican and i are strangely on the same page. work and go home, do your job, do it well and go home. we both have pretty good work ethics, but our difference of age 20+ years and dramatic language barriers keeps us from being able to communicate with eachother.
i have a headache...

before anyone thinks i am some white power mother fucker, please keep in mind that i am half mexican. i in no way shape or form dislike hispanic people. just thought i would clarify that. ;)

on a totally different note please listen to elliot smith

He's pleased to meet you underneath the horse
In the cathedral with the glass stained black
Singing sweet high notes that echo back
To destroy their master
May be a long time 'til you get the call-up
But it's sure as fate and hard as your luck
No one'll know where you are

It's just a brief smile crossing your face
I'm running speed trials standing in place

When the socket's not a shock enough
You little child, what makes you think you're tough
When all the people you think you're above
They all know what's the matter
You're such a pinball, yeah you know it's true
There's always something you go back running to
To follow the path of no resistance

It's just a brief smile crossing your face
I'm running speed trials standing in place
It's just a brief smile crossing your face
Running speed trials all over the place

Stranded in the spooky town

so it turns out that i should have gone to bed before 3am last night. exhausted today and i am still awake, i do dumb shit. a beer would be fantastic, but a beer may lead to 2 and i've never drank "2" beers. facebook is suddenly starting to get really old. i think ever since i watched that dumbass social network movie "because everyone said it was great" fb just hasn't been the same. peoples fucking grandmothers have facebook, what the fuck?

what a day

i heard what i wanted to hear, i met a cool guy, i ate at a new place, about to drink a beer, gonna kill some zombies, bout to go to bed.